quarta-feira, 3 de junho de 2009

Confinada

Havia um espaço dentro de mim, uma área livre que era voltada para algo distinto dessa dor, corte e vergonha. Ela morreu junto com a liberdade de pensar em qualquer lugar longe dessas paredes e umidade que me cerca.

O cheiro de urina e fezes a minha volta não me incomoda. O cheiro forte de suor impregnado no que sobrou das roupas que rasgaram me incomoda mais. Foram quantos soldados? Tornaram-se apenas um amontoado de carnes, contra meu corpo dormente após o terceiro.

Sinto meu lábio inchado, percebo que está dolorido ao levantar meu rosto deixando parte dele colado ao cimento mal colocado, às pressas, como se tivessem uma necessidade extrema de finalizar um espaço para deixar os indesejáveis.

Por que nos punem dessa forma? O que faz esses homens senhores da verdade, da política, do dizer e do destruir corpos que buscam mostrar, aos demais, que todos somos livre?

...

A porta abre e vejo o vulto de dois homens me avisando que já descansaram o bastante. Que hoje vão adorar me ajudar a cagar durante a semana.

Engulo mais uma vez a mulher dentro de mim. Sou um espírito de luta, sou o desejo de mudanças, não sou uma mulher. Sou o simbolismo de todas que estão sendo violentadas e torturadas pelas mentiras. Mentiras essas que se tornam tão reais nesta cela.

Deus... Me ajude a morrer hoje.

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